I Tried it! Holotropic Breathwork in Montreal – My Experience & Review
Apparently, breathwork (rapid breathing to hyperventilation) is starting to be “trendy” in France. People participate in it as if it were a normal meditation or yoga class.
While it is a very powerful way to access our psyche and should only be used when we really feel ready.
In this article, I am going to talk about my experience of Holotropic Breathing, an experiment set up by Dr. Stanislav Grof, which allows access to the psyche by inducing a modified state of consciousness. The modified state of consciousness is reached several times a day without necessarily knowing it – when we dream, when we daydream, when we have just woken up…
To begin with, there are several types of breathwork :
- Breathwork super hype currently: presented as a meditation/yoga session: one person leads a group of 10 to 15 people, breathing at the same time. The session lasts about 1 hour.
- Rebirth (or Rebirth Breathwork): a personal development method developed in the 1960s in the United States by Leonard Orr. This method uses breathing to release the trauma of birth
- Holotropic Breathwork: this is a registered trademark. To participate in this type of session, one must follow a protocol set up by Stanislav Grof, a Czech psychiatrist, a pioneer in the search for modified states of consciousness. To do so, one must contact a certified facilitator. It lasts at least a whole day (we breathe in the morning and assist other “breathers” in the afternoon – or vice versa) and there are moments of exchange after each breath.
- And lots of other techniques just related to breathing: Transformational Breath, Tantric Breathing, Respirology, Pranayama…
Why holotropic breathing?
I don’t know why, but I wanted to test this method from the moment I heard about it.
Going back in time, in the beginning Stanislav Grof was conducting a psychedelic research program at the Institute for Psychiatric Research in Prague, Czechoslovakia, which led him to study the effects of LSD. Years of studies have shown the potential for healing and transformation of non-ordinary states of consciousness, activated by the LSD in question.
In the 1960s, LSD became banned as a drug and research stopped. However, he noticed that patients on LSD were hyperventilating – and he and his wife developed a technique called “Holotropic Breathing” to induce an altered state of consciousness – without the use of LSD. The participant is in control of the whole situation, as he decides whether to hyperventilate – or not – and to stop, if he wishes, the experience at any time. Whereas with LSD, once administered, the participant’s consciousness is altered for several hours, without being able to control the duration.
You can read more about Stanislav Grof by reading his interview here(PDF file).
Note: the effects aren’t the same for LSD as holotropic breathwork, or ayahuasca. Holotropic breathing cannot replace a session of ayahuasca in the Amazon for example, if this is what you are looking for. The effects are very different from one method to another.
This type of work can resemble rites of passage among traditional peoples, where they dance together around the fire, playing drums and finally enter into a “trance”. After the nth report on TV about shamans, rites of passage etc. I always wondered why it was so important for them to go into trance, what it did for them, why they put so much effort into it – and why this kind of practice was found all over the world, as if they had spread the word.
It always intrigued me. Some explain trance as a way to get closer to God, and others as a way to access the source of knowledge. Some anthropologists assert the disappearance of rites of passage in our modern society as the origin of our ills. After being made aware of the myths of the Aborigines (The Dreamtime) during my stay in Australia, these questions never left me, and I felt like doing an equivalent of rite of passage to understand what was behind all this.
At the beginning, while reading the results of Dr. Grof’s research, I told a friend about it, telling her that during these sessions, some people could access the collective unconscious, or relive their birth and that it seemed interesting. So I expected to experience the same thing. She immediately told me not to do it, because I was expecting too much, and I was going to be disappointed. And that for this kind of thing, it’s better to go without any expectations, that you have to feel good about yourself.
In short, between the moment I talked to him about it, and the moment I feel really good about myself, I finished 2 world tours and several personal development books ahahah
And when I’m finally ready, as luck would have it, I found a certified facilitator in Montreal. He only holds one session every two months, and I’m in Montreal right at the time he holds a session. Note: you must ALWAYS go through certified falsifiers. There are certified falsifiers all over the world, the official list is here
As a result, my expectation of my holotropic breathing session: NOTHING. I trust my psyche. It will show me what it wants.
Registration & Introductory Session
After making an appointment and paying online, I receive an email with a health form to fill out. Of course you can’t participate if you have health problems or psychic problems…
For those who are breathing for the first time, an information session of 1h30 is organized – free of charge – the day before. Of the 18 people attending my session, 10 are breathing for the 1st time. The facilitator explains how the session will take place, insists on the technical details (how to breathe, and above all how to let go of control and accept all emotions and experiences that come to us).
It enlightens us on some of the concepts approached in Grof’s work, the three planes of the unconscious, including the perinatal domain, which I had not understood during my various readings and which he had brilliantly explained here. He explains that there are 4 phases in a birth (perinatal matrices), and it is enough that one or more phases do not go well for it to leave psychic wounds in the individual. For example, a baby who feels unwanted, could feel rejected when he is an adult, feel too much every time he goes to a party. Or a child born by Caesarean section may later in life be less independent and wait for outside help etc. Of course, there is no fixed pattern, but by digging into the story of his birth, one can find explanations for oneself, as well as common themes such as hell, paradise lost… Some people, during a holotropic breathing session, may feel like they are reliving their birth (childbirth), but this is rare.
I think this 1.5 hour introductory session was necessary because not all participants learned about holotropic breathing. So being able to ask questions before the session, and lowering expectations, will bring more to the person I think.
D-Day
We all have to come with :
- snack, water, lunchtime snacks
- a cover
- a cover for the mattress
- an eye mask
- earplugs if the music is too loud for us
The rest (mattresses, chairs, painting materials…) is provided on site.
There are two parts:
- first part where I assist someone (I become a sitter)
- second part where I breathe (I become a breather), and the other person becomes my sitter to assist me
Or vice versa. As I’m breathing for the first time, I prefer to be a sitter first to see how it goes, before breathing myself. The music is different for the two sessions, so I won’t have a feeling of “déjà vu”. The facilitator explained to us that it was important to have unfamiliar music, so as not to interfere with our experience. And that the music was mostly there to “mask” the noises that other participants might make. In my case, the music was very important and served as a guide.
The “duo” operation allows us to have someone to assist and monitor us at all times (give water, tissues etc.)… and three certified facilitators circulate around the room to assist, in addition, if needed.
Apparently, you can also breathe alone with the facilitator, but the group effect can make the experience more powerful. I witnessed this group energy at the dervish ceremony in Turkey.
In the morning
We start the day with a little reminder of how it works: how to breathe, how to work the body during breathing… we are told again and again to call on the facilitators if we have any doubts… and we end up forming a small sharing circle where we share our current state of mind.
We are 18 in all, so we are self-forming duets. I’m assisting one person this morning and I’m breathing in the afternoon. My role is to pass him the handkerchiefs, water, give him the blanket, accompany him to the toilet… on request because nobody is allowed to touch a person who is breathing without an explicit request. If the person’s reaction may seem impressive (they may dance, turn around…), we just have to protect the person, so that they don’t get hurt, but that’s all.
The music is very beautiful so despite the long duration of the session, and the few requests coming from my partner, I was not bored. Seeing people completely relax, dancing, moving…. really made me feel good. I feel like I’m in a safe, non-judgmental environment.
At the end of the session, the people who have just breathed draw their mandala. And everyone takes out their lunch and chats. Not being in the mood to talk, I did my asocial by drawing the outline of my mandala in advance. And I appreciated that people left me alone in my corner instead of finding it “abnormal”
In the afternoon
It’s my turn to breathe. I set up my things and give instructions to my partner: that she doesn’t let me grind my teeth (if I do), etc. I’m not allowed to grind my teeth.
The facilitator speaks to us softly, tells us to relax… I lie down, put on my eye mask and after 2 minutes, while the music isn’t yet there, I am already breathing very quickly, and a pain comes over me in the middle of my chest, going down into my stomach, and my hands are tight… It happens when you breathe fast and have too much oxygen in your blood. When I’m in pain and feel vulnerable like that, well, I cry… with tears. And tribal music makes me cry more.
Even with normal breathing, the pain is still there. It is advisable to call a facilitator, who can increase the pressure by putting a cushion on the area where it hurts. But I don’t feel like it. The pain in my belly becomes unbearable, it feels like there is a circle digging, digging. So I imagined myself opening my chakras and bringing the pain up to my head, so that it comes out that way… and magic, it works. I don’t hurt anymore.
I have tried to breathe quickly many times but it no longer has any effect on me, no more pain. Each time, it was the music that brought me images and made me fall into an altered state of consciousness. Images come to my mind and even if I wanted to impose other images on myself, they don’t come. At times, the image can be as real as when you watch a film. But most of the time, the image simply comes to me through thought, in the same way as hypnosis, or in a dream.
As the session lasted 3 hours, I had time to see a lot of pictures. The first ones take me to the Amazon, with people dancing and singing around me. Then come the two best moments I spent with Rosalie (my cat) and my dog. I relived these moments as many times as I wanted, while feeling, deep inside, all the love they bring me. Overwhelmed by these waves of love, I cried again… so touched and grateful. I wanted to think about my family but as I told you, you can’t impose things on your psyche, my psyche simply refused to send me images about them.
Then I was taken to different places. I was like a drone, watching scenes behind a bird, behind a person… like in a National Geographic documentary 🙂 the images are great, some of them speak to me because I’ve been to those places, others come from nowhere and I’m not sure I’ve seen them in pictures or in a book. I was taken to Ancient Egypt, Ancient Rome, the Gardens of Babylon, Iguazu, Isla del Sol, the Amazon… and then to places where I haven’t been: the blue hole of the Bahamas, in a cenote bathed in light probably in Mexico, the Dendera Temple in Egypt, at the top of the Great Pyramid (covered in gold), in two rooms – unknown – maybe in Greece..
Each time, I feel a lot of joy, gratitude and also very touched to see such beautiful, such incredible things. Usually I am always afraid of the depth of the ocean, but during this session I was often in very deep water, swimming with dolphins, whales, sharks or at the bottom of a cenote and I was not afraid at all. And then, I was in space, contemplating the Earth from above, covered with incredible energy, and then projected among the planets and stars…
In the end, I relive a multitude of (real) moments where someone was nice / said something nice. And I found myself in the shoes of these people, it was ME who was nice, and said nice things to my face. I felt that it was THE moment of revelation, that I had to be attentive to these images – but I didn’t really try to analyze them in the moment – because the method is to live one’s experiences, pay attention to one’s feelings, and interpret them later.
Between each series of images, I am very tired and need to rest a little. Usually, I have images during a song, then I spend half a song resting, then I see other things… I talk about song because it’s my only time mark. At the end I was very tired and tried to sleep, but I couldn’t, so I ended the experiment by taking off my mask. Without knowing that the music would stop 5 minutes later anyway. When you breathe, the 3 hours go by much faster than when you are assisting someone.
I don’t know how I was during the session, I know that I cried a lot – with gratitude – but also danced a lot while lying down. It must have been impressive to see, especially for my partner, who thought I was in great pain, when I wasn’t at all. During the session, I also heard other participants shouting, laughing, crying… but that was part of the experience, and it didn’t bother me at all.
End of the session
We end the session by exchanging a few words and feelings with my partner. The facilitators come over to each of us and ask if we are okay. And then we get in a circle and share our experiences one by one, sometimes in detail, sometimes not… Overall, everyone was delighted with their session, even though many had difficulty interpreting the images they had. I won’t go into detail because I can only relate my own experience, but in no way reveal the experiences of others.
The next day, we all receive an email with practical instructions (e.g. not to make a super important decision within 2 weeks, rest…) as well as the names of the songs of the two sessions.
Conclusion
I feel a lot of gratitude, for everything, after this session. I think that everything I saw just confirms what I already knew and felt (I’ve talked about it here and here). But since I’ve been in low energy mode for the past few weeks because of my dental problems, it felt good to remember that.
I think that if possible, it would be good for everyone to do it at least once in their lives. Even the fact that you don’t see anything, don’t experience anything during the session (it happens) can lead you to reflect on your relationship with self-control and let go. Most people feel serenity and gratitude afterwards. Isn’t that what we all wish for? To be content with what we have and live in the present?
Some will decide to repeat one or more more sessions. For me who just wanted to discover a new experience and answer my curiosity “what happens during a rite of passage”, I do not intend to repeat the experience even if it was very beautiful for me.
Practical info: there are certified facilitators all over the world, the official list is here My holotropic breathing session cost me $120 CDN.
