Travelling with a hypersensitive or as a hypersensitive: tips & advice

Having traveled with many hypersensitive people and being hypersensitive myself, I know how quickly travel can become a nightmare. From the preparation of the trip to the after-trip. But don’t worry, being hypersensitive doesn’t mean you have to stay home. Travel and hypersensitivity are completely compatible

Here are some tips I can give you if you plan to travel soon with a hypersensitive person, or if you are hypersensitive yourself.

How do I know if I am hypersensitive?

There is a test set up by Elaine Aaron, author of the book Hypersensitive: Better understanding to better accept oneself (Amazon link).
You can download the pdf of the test here. If you answer yes to more than 14 questions, chances are that you are hypersensitive.

The author estimates that 1 in 5 people are hypersensitive. This particularity is far from being a defect but it often poisons their existence because hypersensitive people do not understand each other, and their entourage does not understand them either. Whereas it is enough to know their needs to plan a trip adapted to their desires.

Tips for travelling when you are hypersensitive

What you need to understand is that hypersensitive people like to be calm, like to recharge their energy by isolating themselves a little and to have as many points of reference as possible

There isn’t the same tolerance threshold from one person to another: My girlfriend M. hears the slightest noise and it wakes her up in the middle of the night, whereas I can sleep with Linkin Park all the way through.

The organization of the trip must therefore take into account your level of hypersensitivity and your tolerance threshold.

Destination

The destination is very important because it will determine the means of transportation, the duration of the trip and the degree of change of scenery. The farther away you are and the more you are likely to be out of the country, the more complicated the trip is likely to be. If this is the first time you are traveling, or the first time you are traveling with a hypersensitive person, choose a European destination.

If it’s a world tour, first go to “easy” countries like Thailand, Indonesia, Japan, the Philippines… before going crescendo to more emotionally difficult destinations like India, China, Vietnam, South America, Cuba or African countries. If you really don’t feel like going to a country, even if all the world tour operators go there, don’t force yourself! There are more than 200 countries in the world, it doesn’t matter if you don’t go to all of them. I zapped Australia for example because I don’t want to suffer racism there, I just zapped that country (which everyone visits) and visited Cuba instead.

Duration & dates

I recommend leaving on a Thursday morning and returning on a Saturday evening. That way you avoid the peaks of leaving and returning (with lots of people, stress and noise). The whole Sunday can be devoted to rest (after the vacations) before going back to work on Monday. During the round-the-world trip, we always fly during the week (preferably on Wednesday or Thursday) because the fares are lower and it is much less stressful.

Means of transport

Here are some detailed tips for each means of transportation:

Train : In Europe, the train seems to me to be a suitable means for hypersensitive people. To avoid being in square spaces with small children shouting, I recommend if possible opting for the 1st class. You can get better fares by booking well in advance. However, avoid bunks. The fear of getting bed chips, or missing your stop, will make the trip much less pleasant. In other parts of the world, I advise against the train because the seats aren’t very comfortable.

Buses : in almost all countries there are buses for locals and buses for tourists. Always opt for a tourist bus, first to have a seat, then to go faster (local buses stop every 5 minutes to pick up people). You can find these buses in Latin America on the site busbud (link) or in Asia on the site 12go.asia (link). In Europe, I advise against Flixbus which is often late and doesn’t communicate clearly on the departure and stop points – which creates extra stress – and I strongly advise you to take the train, much more on time and in case of delay, at least you can ask someone, unlike Flixbus.

Car : this is a good option. The car is like a small cocoon, road trips can be very pleasant, especially if it happens in countries with little traffic like Australia, New Zealand, Iceland… Sleeping in a van is much harder though 😀

Plane : the main problem with the plane is the waiting time between departure to the airport and takeoff.
If your finances allow it, what I recommend is to take a Uber or a cab to get to the airport. If this isn’t possible, it is better to take a special airport bus (shuttle) rather than taking public transportation. Public transportation isn’t adapted to travelers and especially not to hypersensitive people (no space for suitcases, too many stops, too many people). Moreover, shuttles aren’t much more expensive: the direct bus to CDG costs 18€ while the same trip with the horrible RER B costs 11.4€.
If you can choose your seat, choose a seat on the corridor side, at the back (for example if there are 40 rows, choose row 33 or more). Avoid seats near the emergency doors (which aren’t reclining) and avoid front seats (you risk being right behind a mother traveling with a small child because the first row of the economy class of large planes is equipped with a diaper). If you can’t choose it in advance, ask the check-in hostess kindly for the seat that suits you best. If you are traveling alone, you can ask to block the seat next to you, so that no one will sit next to you – this service is free of charge and everyone accepts if the plane isn’t full.
Then, at the airport itself, the trick is to sit in front of the boarding gate of another plane that is leaving in a very long time. This way, there will be fewer people. 20 minutes before boarding your plane, slowly go to your real boarding gate and be among the last to board. Don’t stand in line, wait to be among the last passengers. The reason why people like to get on the plane first is to have room for their carry-on luggage. Don’t be afraid. In case of lack of space, the stewardess will find a seat not too far away for you or will put your hand luggage in Business Class. In the worst case, your luggage will go in the hold at no extra charge (you will get a small ticket as for a normal hold luggage). On our side, we have access to VIP airport lounges with Priority Pass, which you can buy separately or enjoy for free with your American express Business Platinum. I’m not saying that everyone has to do it, but if you can afford it, waiting in a comfortable seat with relaxing music and having access to an all-you-can-eat buffet just before the flight is much less stressful than having to fight for an uncomfortable seat in front of the boarding gate. At first, I told JB that it was money thrown out the window, but after spending time in the lounges and seeing my stress level drop considerably each time, I validate:D

What to bring?

I would say as little as possible. You can read all the articles in our “Travel light” section here.
The ideal is to leave with (1) a handbag if it’s for a weekend (2) a hand luggage for a week’s vacation (3) a backpack for a trip around the world.

It is necessary to travel light as travel is already stressful. If you also have to look at where all your luggage is, if you have all your luggage, getting off and on the train/bus… it creates extra stress and fatigue. If you are missing something, it is better to buy something once you arrive at your destination, it will give you a little souvenir of your trip.

However, I still recommend some essential items to take with you, to make the trip more comfortable:

• a small vest : the air conditioning is always too strong, everywhere. It is better to always carry it with you
• achange of underwear: at least if you lose your luggage, you will feel clean
• an inflatable pillow(Amazon link)
• sunglasses : hypersensitive people are very sensitive to light too. You must always carry them with you
• something to entertain you: I recommend podcasts to download offline before you leave
• a small snack: delays are numerous, hypersensitive people can’t bear to be hungry
• a relaxing playlist

Accommodation

Youth hostels are absolutely to be avoided. First of all, because most of them attract young partygoers, who aren’t at all the type of people that hypersensitive people frequent. Then, there is the problem of spaces, toilets & showers to share: too many interactions whereas hypersensitive people need an intimate space to recharge their batteries at the end of a day’s visit. If financially, it is too difficult, I recommend opting for a private room in a youth hostel. That way, there will only be the bathroom to share. I recommend that hypersensitive people go back to the hostel a little earlier and take a shower at the end of the afternoon, so there will be no one there. Otherwise, choose the dormitories with 4 beds maximum and sleep with earplugs and a mask.

The Airbnb are to be chosen with a lot of reserve. Airbnb do not accept check-in before 3pm-4pm in general. The communication with the owner to get the key back can be difficult, especially if you don’t speak English/Spanish very well. I recommend Airbnb to more experienced travelers or those who stay in a city for a long time. The other alternative is to choose only Airbnb with automatic check-in (code to enter or key hidden in a code box)

Hotels are the best choices. I would advise you to choose a well located hotel (to limit traveling) that offers breakfast and has a restaurant on site . Thus, if the visits during the day are already too intense, at least dinner at the hotel can be done in a quiet, stress-free environment without going out. Hotels with restaurants sometimes offer room service if needed. When it comes to the main courses, I find that the rates are very acceptable, contrary to what one might think of room service. If your budget allows it, I recommend the ibis or Novotel chains. The advantage is that they offer, even abroad, French breakfasts and dishes. It’s good especially if you can’t stand the local cuisine.

Whatever your choice of accommodation, read the notices carefully to avoid party zones, industrial zones, hotels next to a nightclub or right next to a busy avenue

The food

Before leaving, I advise you to go to Tripadvisor/Google Maps and pinpoint all the restaurants that “talk to you”. Once there, you can simply open the Tripadvisor map and go directly to one of the restaurants you’ve pinned, so you don’t have the stress of having to find an ASAP restaurant.

It’s important to also pinpoint French restaurants (or the type of cuisine you like: Vietnamese, Korean…) – because if you can’t stand the local cuisine, don’t force yourself. It’s perfectly OK to fall for French roast chicken abroad rather than eating an n-th thai pad. If it’s too difficult to find the food you like (I had a hard time finding Asian restaurants in South America, for example), also pin Italian restaurants. Normally, everyone likes spaghetti with tomato sauce, right?

The program

Stimuli, lively places… are very tiring for hypersensitive people. Therefore, it is better to have a light program (no more than 2 big visits per day) and small quiet breaks between two visits. It can be a small park, a botanical garden or simply a temple or a church. Don’t hesitate to come back to the hotel for a little nap between two big visits. It doesn’t matter if you don’t visit all the known monuments of this or that city. Travel guides are made to suit a multitude of tastes, it isn’t a checklist. Allow half a day or a day of rest after the trip to recover from all your emotions.

I also recommend that you find out as much information as possible about the monuments and destinations before departure. That way you at least know what to expect. It may sound like a spoiler, but I find it reassuring to know where to go, what to look at, how to get around. Mine, for example, is quite precise in the descriptions, on transportation from one point to another (see the list of countries covered)… it was precisely made to reassure all anxious or perfectionist travelers. I give you other tips to plan properly here

Group excursions or organized trips should be avoided – because the program isn’t flexible enough and there may be too much interaction and too many stimuli. In every group, there is always one person who sends out very bad waves – something that hypersensitive people detect immediately and are affected. It is best to go in small groups for a maximum of one day, no more. I find free walking tours quite interesting because you can leave the group at any time.

During the round-the-world tour, our pace is faster and so as not to create too much mental load for me, I plan one day in advance only. In the morning, we pack our bags to change accommodation. We drop our bags at the reception and then we visit. We come back quite early, around 4:00 pm. I complete the blog then prepare the program for the next day. I then ask JB to book the accommodation for the next day (it can be the current city or another city, depending on the program determined). We have dinner and then spend the whole evening surfing or watching a movie. If we need social interaction, we chat with people at the front desk, or with our relatives via Facebook. From time to time, we give ourselves a week without doing anything at all, without visiting, without even going to the beach. Just to chill.

Here are some activities that may appeal to people with sensitivities:

• visit of a small museum
• admire beautiful landscapes
• participate in a DIY workshop
• participate in a cooking class
• any artistic or sensory activity
• any interaction with animals: from a cat café to a safari in South Africa
• a soft massage: well, it depends on people, touch can be disturbing for some. It is better to opt for a soft Swedish type massage – instead of the Thai massage, which is too energetic and too abrupt. If you have any doubts, a facial will do everyone good
• …

Here are some of my tips to better enjoy traveling, whether you are hypersensitive or traveling with a hypersensitive person. I think the most important thing is to listen to your needs and emotions and not repress them. If most people like this or that thing, but not you, don’t force yourself.

With habit, things that are considered unacceptable at first will become acceptable over time. So if you’re going on a world tour, you can alternate between hotel and hostel, sightseeing and rest, to find out your tolerance level, what you like/don’t like.

No one is obliged to stay 24 hours a day with their travel companion either, so give yourself some time alone so that you can find yourself better afterwards. For example, JB has always liked to go and watch soccer games all over the world, an experience I describe as unbearable for me, he has never forced me to go with him and I have never blamed myself for not going either.

Have a good trip!