Tips: How to Reduce Mental Load at Home Through Delegation

Mental load is on everyone’s lips these days. When I had my niece stay with me for a few days, I realized just how much daily tasks (preparing meals, eating, naptime) literally devoured the day when you have a child. There was hardly any time left for playing and relaxing together. This experience made me think: how can parents who work all week truly enjoy their kids on the weekend when they’re stuck between grocery shopping, cleaning, and meal prep?

Note: this article is not NOT sponsored; these are tips I shared on Instagram, and I got questions, so I’m writing an article to explain further

To free up time with my niece, I made a simple decision: I asked my cleaning lady to prepare a big tajine in advance for several meals (my niece loves this dish), and I turned to ready-made meals Seazon when I was too tired or overwhelmed to cook. The result was spectacular: I suddenly felt like I had hours ahead of me to play with my niece.

The secret came down to three words: delegate as much as possible.

Studies have shown that married men, regardless of age, earn higher salaries than single men. The only notable difference? The mental load absorbed, most likely, by their wives. So we women equally need that “invisible wife” (in other words, outside help) if we want to succeed professionally and live our best lives, just like married men do.

This revelation made even more sense a few weeks later when my friend C., who lives in the countryside, shared how hiring a private chef had transformed her daily life. She found a chef who comes to cook at her place every two weeks. He arrives with all the necessary groceries and spends 4 to 5 hours in her kitchen preparing everything. She keeps some dishes in the fridge and freezes the rest for the following weeks. The cherry on top: he fully cleans the kitchen before leaving. For 60 to 80 euros per week (covering two meals a day for one person, groceries included), she eats healthy, the portions are generous, and she no longer even feels the need to snack between meals.

Why such a good value? The answer lies in the chef’s expertise. As a professional, he knows exactly how to optimize his shopping by selecting versatile ingredients that will be used in multiple preparations. His skill also allows him to cook faster and cleaner than an amateur. Result: my friend eats better while spending less. She now understands why celebrities hire private chefs: they enjoy tasty food while staying in shape.

But the real asset, according to her? That the chef also handles the grocery shopping. She emphasizes this nuance: a chef who only cooks versus a chef who arrives with everything needed—it’s night and day. Plus, C. lives far from big cities, so grocery shopping for her means taking the car. A nightmare! That’s the real advantage of professionals: they don’t just do things for you; they also think for you. You no longer have to plan, anticipate, or remember. The mental load disappears along with the chore.

If batch cooking doesn’t particularly excite you, you can adopt my personal strategy: I only delegate the grocery shopping part.I know many people use Drive services, but I find the produce quality poor. At the butcher’s, I already know what I want, so it’s settled in 5 minutes for 40 to 80 euros per week for two people. It’s at the greengrocer’s where I used to spend the most time, so I decided to delegate that task. Each week, I ask him to put together a 35-euro basket with a varied assortment of vegetables and fruits. There again, his expertise makes all the difference: as a professional, he knows perfectly the seasonal produce, which is not only cheaper but also much more flavorful. He strategically thinks of vegetables that pair well together to create multiple dishes. Some recipes can even combine the basket’s vegetables and fruits. Now, instead of spending 45 minutes shopping, always picking the same veggies and weighing every item, I spend 10 minutes max, and those 10 minutes include his valuable tips on the basket’s contents and matching recipes. Thanks to this setup, I now eat a much wider variety of vegetables and gradually cut back on meat. All in all, my weekly grocery shopping takes 15 minutes, watch in hand. And I no longer even wonder “what’s for dinner?” because the recipes are already thought out by my greengrocer.

I truly grasped the value of professional expertise the day I hired a cleaning lady. The apartment has never been so spotless in 2 hours as when JB and I spent 3 hours tackling it together… while arguing. Another advantage: its versatility. She handles the laundry (I usually start a load before she arrives, and she hangs it out on the balcony), takes care of the ironing, and sometimes even does some cooking. The cleaners use products I would never have thought of. Result: the kitchen and bathroom are spotless, with not a trace of limescale, even though Lille’s water is particularly hard. They also find the most effective solutions for every problem: for example, when faced with stubborn marks on the wall, my previous cleaner in Paris knew exactly that there was a specific product sold only at Leclerc, and indeed the stain disappeared in 10 seconds flat. We have no training in cleaning and see it as a chore, while for these professionals, it’s a smooth and quick task – they know the right moves and the right products.

For cleaning, I spend €88 per month for 2 hours weekly. When I share these figures on Instagram, people are always surprised. It’s thanks to the immediate advance on the tax credit. In reality, cleaning costs €22 per hour (and my cleaner earns about €18 net), but with the immediate advance on the tax credit, I only end up paying €11 per hour. Few organizations offer this immediate tax reduction. I use clubtidy.fr(you can also use my referral code DEUEVU367). The process is simple: you create an account, then in the “Profile” section, you access “Immediate Advance (AICI)” where you’ll find a link to create an URSSAF account. Create that URSSAF account and then link it to your Club Tidy account. I should point out that I’m not sponsored by anyone – I’m just a customer there.

You also have the option of trying out several cleaners before finding the one that suits you best.

I’m often asked how much time to set aside per week for cleaning. For most apartments, 1.5 hours is plenty. But don’t forget to consider your cleaner’s travel time: sometimes they spend up to 1.5 hours round trip, and the travel isn’t paid. Skimping on a few euros to save 30 minutes doesn’t seem fair to me. I pay for 2 hours, which is more than enough, especially since I have a robot vacuum (Amazon link) that already removes the dust before she arrives (a robot you can program to vacuum at a specific time, one less mental load). She always has about fifteen minutes left, which I use either for ironing or for a deeper clean of a specific area… or I simply tell her to leave early.

So here’s my formula for minimizing chores and mental load:

• Cleaning lady: 2 hours a week, €88/month
• Meal-prep chef who does the grocery shopping: I estimate €620 to €800/month for two in the provinces
  • or a basket from the greengrocer & a basket from the butcher once a week
• A programmable robot vacuum (Amazon link) for €250
• A small dry cleaning budget for delicate items (silk, wool) or bulky ones (coats, jackets)

Normally, with all this, when you come home, there will be practically no chores left.

Delegating isn’t a luxury reserved for celebrities; it’s an investment in your quality of life. If you’re still hesitating, start small: try a cleaner once, ask your greengrocer to put together a basket for you. You’ll quickly see the difference. Because deep down, our time and mental energy are worth far more than the money saved on tasks that exhaust us.